Browsing articles in "Offbeat"
Dec 12, 2011

WOW! What A Bitchslap

b***h SLAP – And you too could own this look of satisfaction. demotivational poster

Dec 10, 2011

How Do You Google Something?

I must apologize for the redundancy of the question. Still, how do you Google something on Google? If I were to ask you to find the capital of Texas, how would you Google it?

It’s a term that has become synonymous with finding something, yet people search in very different ways. Some ask Google questions like, “where is the best place to eat in las vegas”. Others tell Google things they would never tell another human being such as, “i want to break up with my boyfriend but i love him”.
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Dec 5, 2011

They Should Have Used A Different Font

Every so often a handout or document published by a library comes across my desk that makes me squint or shake my head. The problem is frequently with bad design, colors, or layout. Many times the problem is when the author, trying to be cute or unique, decides to use a fancy font.

Dec 5, 2011

They Just Screwed My Childhood. S**t Happens.

“Shit happens” is a common slang phrase, used as a simple existential observation that life is full of imperfections, either “Así es la vida” or “C’est la vie”. The phrase is an acknowledgment that bad things happen to people for no particular reason. Phrases with similar meaning are such as “stuff happens” or “it happens” and are considered minced oath forms. “Stuff happens, don’t it? Stuff happens.”

Dec 4, 2011

I Finally Did It! I Lit My Fart On fire!!!

Fart lightning or pyroflatulence is the practice of igniting the gases produced by human flatulence, often producing a flame of a blue hue, hence the act being known colloquially as a “blue angel”, or in Australia, a “blue flame”. The fact that flatus is flammable, and the actual combustion of it through this practice, gives rise to much humourous derivation. Other colors of flame such as orange and yellow are possible with the color dependent on the mixture of gases formed in the colon.

Although there is little scientific discourse on the combustive properties of flatus, there are many anecdotal accounts of flatus ignition and the activity has increasingly found its way into popular culture with references in comic routines, movies, and television; including cartoons.

Dec 4, 2011

Surprise Twins In Delivery Room?

Everyone is in shock. It’s intense to expect one baby and get two. I am so proud of my friend and so so so glad that she never had a u/s. If she had had one, she’d never have been able to have a home birth, or to go to 41 weeks, 3 days. . . the only downside medically is that since she didn’t know she was having twins, she didn’t eat extra protein or anything like that. She was spilling a lot of protein into her urine at the end. The babies are on the smaller side–6-13 and a little over 5 lbs. My friend lost a lot of blood, but she is seeming like she’s getting better.

Nov 29, 2011

Cocaine Party? Why Am I Not Invited?

Charlie Sheen doesn’t have a care in the world! He’s not letting a jaunt in NYC with a hooker bring him down! He also has no problem with getting cocaine all over his face—more on that later.

The actor returned to work to shoot a cameo in the movie She Wants Me, and told reporters he’s “excellent” when asked how he was faring following the embarrassing NYC hotel room incident.

“I did great!” Sheen added, referring to his bit part in the movie.

Now to the coke details—apparently Charlie was found naked with cocaine all over his face in a restaurant bathroom the same night he went nuts on his escort at the Plaza.