Browsing articles tagged with " Humor"
Feb 1, 2019

A Notable Gynaecologist Once Said…


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“The best engine in the world is the vagina !!It can be started with one finger, is self-lubricating, takes any size piston and changes its own oil every four weeks.

It is only a pity that the management system is so f****** temperamental !!”

Nov 23, 2011

Xmas Lights Visible From Space


Nice…. I am SOOO glad I don’t have to put that up and take it down, but beautiful to see! 🙂

Aug 22, 2011

Some Amusing Sex Facts

You might dismiss them as funny but one thing I will assure you is, they are not baseless. At least they are not myths but facts. Laugh them off but take them seriously. They give meaning to the world’s earliest game; sex.There are very many funny sex facts associated with the act of love making. One of them is, having normal nice sex burns around 360 calories. It is an exercise like any other game and it all depends on the energy you put in it. A rough sex game burns around 544 calories.

This means sex keeps you physically fit. Actually all the funny sex facts have health benefits. It is a funny sex fact that sex instantly stops headache or any mild depression. It is a painkiller since it causes release of endorphins in the blood stream and causes a sense of euphoria. At least you now know that headache is a lame excuse not to have sex.

Still on the medical field, it is a funny sex fact that plenty of sex unblocks a stuffy nose. The secretions produced during sex are natural antihistamine. No wonder married people appear healthier in more than one way. The more oral sex you do the better since it has its own funny sex facts. Giving services for oral sex massages the jaws. It also burns some calories so you are exercising too while giving pleasure. Another funny sex fact is that semen deals with bad breath better than mouth wash.

The cum actually adds vitamins to your body while swallowed and guess what? It is said to whiten your teeth. Take a lot and save a smile. Have you heard of edible underwear? They are becoming very popular. For instance where the whole underwear is made of candy. This is eroticism at its best. The most popular flavor of this edible underwear is actually cherry.

A funny sex fact is that only 17% of women attain orgasm during sex. All the others fake it. It is really hard work to fake orgasm. You can imagine that real orgasm burns 112 calories while fake orgasm burns 315 calories. But this does not exceptionally happen to women. Study has also revealed that 48% of men are also likely to fake orgasm. It is only the number that varies. It is a funny sex fact that history has it that, the earliest illustration of a condom being used is in a cave in somewhere in France. It is actually important lest people deviate from the original way of doing it.

When it comes to body appearance, it even gets funnier. It is a funny sex fact that the right testicles for left-handed men hangs comparatively lower than the left one. The opposite is also true. For women, the right breast is said to be bigger in size than the left one. It is noticeably big but it might also explain why women always feel that their bra is not the perfect size. I am yet to see a bra with different cup sizes.

Jul 7, 2011

Funny Butt Icons

We all know those cute little computer symbols called ’emoticons,’ where:
*:) means a smile and
*:( is a frown.

Well, how about some ‘ BUTT ICONS?’ Here goes:

(_!_) a regular ass

(__!__) a fat ass

(!) a tight ass

(_*_) a sore ass!}

(_o_) an ass that’s been around

(_x_) kiss my ass

(_X_) leave my ass alone

(_zzz_) a tired ass

(_E=mc2_) a smart ass

(_$_) Money coming out of his ass

(_?_) Dumb Ass

Jun 17, 2011

Top Thirty Things That Sound Dirty But Are Not


TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY, BUT IN A LAW FIRM, ARE NOT:

10. Have you looked through her briefs?
9. He is one hard judge.
8. Counsellor, let’s do it in chambers.
7. Her attorney withdrew at the last minute.
6 Is it a penal offence?
5. Better leave the handcuffs on.
4. For $200 an hour, she better be good!
3. Can you get him to drop his suit?
2. The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.
And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty but in law isn’t
1. Think you can get me off?
********
TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY, BUT IN THE OFFICE, ARE NOT:

10. I need to whip it out by 5.
9. Mind if I use your laptop?
8. Just stick it in my box.
7. If I have to lick one more, I’ll gag!
6. I want it on my desk, NOW!!!!!
5. HMMMMM, I think it’s out of fluid!
4. My equipment is so old; it takes forever to finish.
3. It’s an entry-level position.
2. When do you think you’ll be getting off today?
And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty but at the office isn’t
1. It’s not fair. I do all the work while he just sits there!!!
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TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY, BUT IN GOLF, ARE NOT:
10.. Damn, my shaft is bent..
9. After 18 holes, I can barely walk.
8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker.
7. Look at the size of his putter.
6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more.
5. Mind if I join your threesome?
4. Stand with your back turned and drop it..
3. My hands are so sweaty I can’t get a good grip!
2. Nice stroke, but your follow-through leaves a lot to be desired.
And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty but in golf isn’t
1. Hold up! I need to wash my balls first!