Why Do Women Lie

If you think your woman would never lie to you, guess again. From little white lies to the more serious variety, most women will curtail the truth at some point in a relationship. Her motivation for lying can stem from wanting to protect your feelings or, sure enough, to save her own butt.

One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, ‘My dear child, why are you crying?’ The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family. The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with sapphires.

‘Is this your thimble?’ the Lord asked The seamstress replied, ‘No.’
The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a golden thimble studded with rubies.

‘Is this your thimble?’ the Lord asked. Again, the seamstress replied, ‘No.’The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble.

‘Is this your thimble ?’ the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, ‘Yes.’ The Lord was pleased with the woman’s honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy. Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water. When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, ‘Why are you crying?’ ‘Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!’

The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney. ‘Is this your husband?’ the Lord asked.

‘Yes,’ cried the seamstress. The Lord was furious. ‘You lied! That is an untruth!’ The seamstress replied, ‘Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said ‘no’ to George Clooney, you would have come up with Brad Pitt.
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A Notable Gynaecologist Once Said…

“The best engine in the world is the vagina !!It can be started with one finger, is self-lubricating, takes any size piston and changes its own oil every four weeks.

It is only a pity that the management system is so f****** temperamental !!”

Wooden Spoon Head Hitting Game

Did anyone notice the smoking hot ass girl in the background yet????

Giant Rubber Duck

A reporter stands along the waterfront to look at a 60-foot-high rubber duck at the Beijing Garden Expo Park. After touring 13 cities in 10 countries, the giant rubber duck, designed by Dutch artist Florentijn Hofman, will float at the Beijing Garden Expo Park and then at the Summer Palace through October in Beijing.

Boys Will Be Boys, And So Will A Lot Of Men

I hope you never let this down now, “Boys Will Be Boys”. And so will a whole lot of men. I forget who said this but there is great truth in this apt saying.

All one has to do is keep a close watch on the behavior of these two groups and the similarities will strike you immediately. For further clues, watch for signs such as acquisition of a new gadget.

The moment someone pulls out a new mobile phone and starts playing around with it, ninety to one all the (male) heads will swivel in that direction. If that same person had sat there waiting in the most outlandish clothes a la the Pied Piper, not one bit of attention would have been thrown his way.

But there’s something irresistible about a new gizmo which is certain to break the ice straight away.

The questions will pour thick and fast as all its plus points are discussed at length.

When that avenue is exhausted, comparisons will be made. Such as which model has the most functions, the best user-friendly keypad and so on and so forth ad nauseum and ad infinitum.

If you listen carefully, you might even catch glimpses of envy, subtly introduced but there nonetheless.

One dissenting voice might intervene to say that although admittedly it is one of the best available in the market, he has heard …
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Japanese Eye Test

Tick Warning

If someone comes to your front door and saying they are checking for Ticks due to warm weather and asks you to take off your clothes and dance around with your arms up. DO NOT DO IT, THIS IS A SCAM.

They only want to see you naked, I wish a friend of mine had known this yesterday……aww she feels so stupid.

P/S Ticks are small arachnids in the order Ixodida. Along with mites, they constitute the subclass Acarina. Ticks are ectoparasites, living by hematophagy on the blood of mammals, birds, and sometimes reptiles and amphibians.

Deer Found In Stomach Of 12 Feet Killed Python

I think they should take the time to sharpen that knife instead of screwing up that snakes dinner.

My English Lesson For Today – Using The Word Fuck!

Using the word FUCK.

God, I remember this one time at band camp I was having a Pow Wow with my band director because I was experiencing anxiety about being Drum Major and we sat down and said, “I wanna show you something.” We watched this entire thing. After, he says, “Do you know what the moral of this?” I reply “No…” And he retorts with the best phrase I have ever heard a teacher say, “Sometimes you just gotta say fuck it.”

Snake Wrestler

Tommy Owens, a tour guide with Everglades Adventure Tours, wrestled with a Burmese Python and won, giving a family of four on the canoe tour the show of a lifetime, and some amazing video souvenirs to boot! There’s footage of the man vs. snake wrestling match – check it out