Browsing articles in "Humor"
Oct 10, 2011

20 Science Facts And Their Profound Reflections


1. The only fresh foods that astronauts are allowed to take into space are pecan nuts.
Is it because they’re astro-nuts?

2. There are ten human body parts that are only three letters long; eye, hip, leg, arm, toe, ear, rib, jaw, lip, and gum.
Even ‘ten’ is three letters.

3. The daily heat output of the average man would boil 30 litres of freezing water.
Add another 10 litres if he watched Jessica Alba daily.

4. By 70 years old an average person will have shed 105 pounds of skin.
How much in dollars?

5. It takes 17 muscles to smile and 43 to frown so keep smiling it saves energy.
So constant frowning is a good exercise for the facial muscles.

6. Canned food was invented for the British Navy in 1813, but the first can opener wasn’t invented until 1870.
This may actually provide a clue to solving the puzzle – which came first, the chicken or the egg.

7. Large doses of coffee can be lethal. Ten grams, or 100 cups over 4 hours, is enough to kill the average human.
Not if it’s Starbucks, because no one can afford 100 cups.
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Oct 6, 2011

Change Your Underwear Daily

There’s an old sea story about a ship’s Captain who inspected his sailors, and afterward told the first mate that his men smelled bad. The Captain suggested perhaps it would help if the sailors would change underwear occasionally. The first mate responded, “Aye, aye sir, I’ll see to it immediately!”

The first mate went straight to the sailors berth deck and announced, “The Captain thinks you guys smell bad and wants you to change your underwear.”

He continued, “Pittman, you change with Jones, McCarthy, you change with Witkowski, and Brown, you change with Schneider.”

THE MORAL OF THE STORY: Someone may come along and promise “Change”, but don’t count on things smelling any better.

Oct 2, 2011

How To Start A Fight


One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift…

The next year, I didn’t buy her a gift.

When she asked me why, I replied,

“Well, you still haven’t used the gift I bought you last year!”

And that’s how the fight started…..

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My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.

I turned to her and said, ‘Do you want to have Sex?’

‘No,’ she answered. I then said,

‘Is that your final answer?’

She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying, ‘Yes..’

So I said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend.”

And that’s when the fight started…
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Sep 26, 2011

The Male And Female Way Of Photographing Something


The camera is the image-forming device, and photographic film or a silicon electronic image sensor is the sensing medium. The respective recording medium can be the film itself, or a digital electronic or magnetic memory.

Photographers control the camera and lens to “expose” the light recording material (such as film) to the required amount of light to form a “latent image” (on film) or “raw file” (in digital cameras) which, after appropriate processing, is converted to a usable image. Digital cameras use an electronic image sensor based on light-sensitive electronics such as charge-coupled device (CCD) or complementary metal-oxide-semiconductor (CMOS) technology. The resulting digital image is stored electronically, but can be reproduced on paper or film.