Jun 12, 2011

Why Do Young Women Fall In Love With Older Men?


Women and men contribute love in different ways. Women are more emotional so touching, saying I Love You, and doing things for us are acts of love. For example, cleaning up the dishes or cooking dinner is acts of love. For men they contribute love with respect and sex.

A good example is that women want men to say “I Love You”, however, if they do not tell us they love us then we fall apart. If we do not respect them, and love them then they start to become defensive. That is when the fighting will probably start.

An age difference of 7 – 15 years can lead to a really great relationship if both partners are willing to. That’s because we don’t choose who we fall in love with, it simply happens.

Most women over 25 and single are already disappointed by men of their age, they are looking to find a mature man that can satisfy their needs. In most cases men reach their maturity level after the age of 30; therefore, most women are just wasting time with men under 30. Most women over 25 believe that older men won’t break their hearts the way younger men have done; they believe that an older man will have the commitment and the willingness required for a long-term relationship.

Age indicates maturity, and decision making ability, so older men are a better choice for a mate. Many young women say young men their same age don’t respect them, but older men do. Younger women enjoy having someone take care of them and are attracted to an older man’s accomplishments, economic stability and emotional maturity.

Younger women and older men are capable of sharing similar life views and goals, despite their age differences. Younger women and older men have no problem accepting each other’s friends. Younger men and older women share the same principles when it comes to family.

Age difference makes no difference, and can lead to a really great relationship if both partners are willing to work at it. Younger women and older men don’t choose to fall in love with each other; it simply happens. Younger women who fall in love with older men have father issues that can sometimes border on the psychotic. Younger women say that older men make them feel special, give them everything they need, give them so much attention, make them feel wanted and needed, and make them feel like a queen.

Younger women usually prefer men who are financially stable, and in most cases the most financially secure men are older men who are established, and in a much better position to take care of a wife than young men. Older men are often more patient, and actually listen to what younger women have to say and respect her opinions–qualities younger women appreciate in older men.

Older men–unlike young men–know what they want in a relationship; they can entertain, wine and dine a young woman–court her the old-fashioned way. Older men know what they want out of life; they are not uncertain about themselves, as younger men sometimes can be and can help bolster a woman financially as well as bolster her self-esteem.

Older men are more experienced sexually and tend to have less of a sex drive, but many women find that the lovemaking with an older man is completely fulfilling to them, as older men are better at listening to the needs of a younger woman than a man their own age tends to be.

Your turn to talk, what do you have to say, lets talk……

279 Comments

  • Im 25 years old female, I recently met a man who just turned 40 on Feb 28. I met him early January and we hang out alot and talk, not only talk but have sex. He cooks me breakfast all the time, lets me shower and bath at his house, we dance and have drinks together, go to pubs, eat dinner, we both play guitar and sing, we have the same taste in music, smoke weed, watch movies etc. We get along great, we tell eachother everything, he treats me very well and is so considerate. He listens to me and I love listening to him as well. He has had his heart broken 3 times, first by his wife who is only 29 and now a stripper, and his 2nd I dont know but the 3rd was just a gold digging whore with 2 kids she couldnt take care of. But now he tells me that it will be dangerous and will not work out between him and I only because of his past relationships. He admitts to me that he does want love and a good friend. But a week ago he tells me that its not going anywhere, our relationship we hold. That really hurt my feelings, not only because he’s my first good friend in this big city that I recently moved to. But just because he’s so great, I thought we wouldnt be friends anymore…I was not going to delete his number at all, but then he came around and started texting me, so we got together on saturday night. It was different how our visit was, seemed closer, Im so happy today I get to see him, sleep over and watch movies tonight with him. I really dont want to fall for him, Im not going to…we already made that clear, but I know he knows he loves me, I feel it. We just click and get along well, Ive met his friends and he has met mine. Im just worried about what others might think of him like my family…and no I dont have father issues, my dad is great and always been there and still is. Anyways, what do I do? How do I break the ice and tell him how I really feel?

  • First of all, I would like to thank all of the younger women out there how gave older men a try. I am 40 years old now and can’t seem to find anyone. So you have given me some hope :)

    @Ajab Khan, I think that it is YOU who need to change your thinking on things. You are putting people in the same box. Tell me, would you forbit two people who are of two different races to forbit marrying or be in a relationship becuase “[their] views difference, thinking and ideas and mentality and a lot more things which can;t be descrribed and are only felt practically?” I am so tired of hearing reason be the bases for everyone. Love is NOT logical nor should it be. The moment this world is based on reason alone, I wish to get off because reason will destroy many wonderful things.

    According to your logic, I should never marry as I cannot find someone that is not my age that I have anything in common with. Would your culture want to destroy my possibility for happiness in order to satisfy thier logic? If so please let me know where you live so I never make the mistake of living there.

  • It’s important to remember that generalizations can be very misleading sometimes. I’m 25 years older than my wife, who’s in her late 20s. Yet I regularly run 12 miles in the hills while she would struggle to run 5 miles on flat ground. I sleep for 6 hours per night but she really needs 9. I prefer to have sex three or four times a day but she’s content with once or twice. She’s had plenty of relationships with men much closer to her age but none of them have been for her as emotionally satisfying as ours. And physically – well, I threw the above data into the picture just to make the simple point that in today’s world the average 30 year old man is flabby and desperately unfit so a moderately active guy twenty years older may actually be physiologically more capable, energetic, and vital. Add to that the emotional maturity and the awareness of how fleeting time can be – and therefore how precious each moment truly is – and you get an interesting mix. Whereas our married friends (who are typically within a year or two of each other’s age) argue and seem to be dissatisfied with so many aspects of their lives we are very happy most of the time – and when troubles at work or problems with the kids crop up, we tackle them as a couple, as a team.

    So basically age is less relevant than individual charactertistics. And as for the “who dies first” question, a good friend of mine was married to a woman 12 years younger, who developed early-onset Parkinson’s Disease and passed away last year, leaving her older partner bereft. Likewise, five years ago, a married couple I knew (where they were within 2 years of each other’s ages) experienced a terrible loss when the man was killed in an auto crash. So there are no certainties and no guarantees in life. Fixating on possible future events makes as much sense as wasting your life watching TV when you could be out there really living.

    So let’s all get out and really live our lives and stop trying to find magic formulae that will somehow “guarantee” happy outcomes. The only rule is: keep trying.

  • Unlike nearly EVERYONE that posted before me. I have NEVER had feelings for a woman my age OR younger.

    They are attractive.

    But I just don’t enjoy talking to them as much. All of the ‘maturity’ these younger women are supposed to have seems relative only to relationships [i,e, how to please a man, what men want, what she wants from a man]. Seldom do I meet younger women who are as spiritual, grounded, and interesting as an older-seasoned woman.

    mmm…

  • In this given context/comments (above, todate), are there viable/practical substitutes for lifelong experiences that come with maturing age to help produce better results by avoiding frustrations that come with pitfalls and failures?

  • I am 30 and I have always been attracted to older men…. I have never dated anyone in my age group, well one hes had a crush on me for years and wz a year older but that lasted less than a year. I have always said that I would not date anyone older that my parents but I have now learnt NEVER say NEVER I hve fallen for a man ten years older than my dad I have yet to be intimate with him but he has started a fire in me I did not know I have. He is a great listenerm super sexy and intelligent, I am not one to care about what ppl think and if the ask to marry me I would in a heartbeat he makes me feel like there is no one else in the world except he and I.

  • I think older men are very sexy. I am thirty-two and have seen some sixty-two year olds that drive me crazy. Why? I don’t know. But I can tell you I don’t see some wrinkly, white-haired, feeble dude crutched over in a rocking chair, walking with a limp, leaning on a cane, unable to string two sentences together and peeing in a diaper. What I do see is an awesome personality, humor, intelligence, charisma, youthfulness, wittiness, charm, confidence and sex appeal. Ten years with that would be WELL WORTH the next twenty alone!!!!!

  • Angela, you have inspired me. I am 71 years old, independent, live on my own as I divorced 8 years ago, have twin daughters of 21 yrs, and a son of 24 yrs. I was married at 42 to a 27 yr old woman. At that time i thought and thought about it, but age was never a problem. Now I still have a few women who like me a lot, and they seek a long term relation, maybe marriage. My thinking was that it is not fair for me to have a long term commitment with a 47 year woman, as it is most likely that I die first, or worse still might get into some bothersome sickness…although my mum died quite healthy at 89, and so did my grandma. One of what is now a close friend had said to me that I should consider that she would be happy just to spend a number of years with me…just as you are saying…which in itself is worth it. I am in the process of getting closer to a woman who absolutely adores me, also 48 yrs, and I have been trying to find out exactly where I want to go from here. So what do you think?

  • I totally vote older men if it works out for each individual! Everyone has their own preferences, needs, desires, attractions, and so on and so forth; therefore it’s in no one else’s need to judge an individual for their choice of a lover. I am coming out of a 10 year relationship, which includes a 4 1/2 year marriage and two small children-as well as a 7 month affair with a girl he worked with, to a male who was a year and a half younger than me who I met in high school. Bam. I’m immediately attracted to and interested in older men. My soon to be ex-husband, in my opinion and experiences, couldn’t even end our marriage or relationship the way it should have been because of his lack of maturity. Instead, he moved out and in with his mistress while I was home with our 3 1/2 year old daughter and was 7 months pregnant with our first son. I can easily, and without a doubt, say that is why I am attracted to an older man. I have basically spent the last 10 years of my life attempting to work through the immaturity and build a life with what I now view as a boy. Maybe that’s where I went wrong? I don’t know, but I do know what is meant to be will be and that clearly, at this moment in time, is not meant to be. I’ll always love him in a special way, but it’s so much easier for me to see clearly what my needs, desires, and wants are in a man. I am ready and willing to devote 100% to a man who is 14 years older than me. As I’ve read and certainly agree with, he gives me a sense of stability, he’s mature, he knows what he wants and how to put NEEDS in front of WANTS, and will not want any more children-as this mommy factory is closing up shop. :) All of these things open my door to furthering a relationship with a man older than me and hoping we can make a life where we’re both happy with one another! Time will tell, but I agree with the saying “age is just a number” in most cases!

  • I never cared about what people think. A majority of the men I am attracted to or have alot of chemistry and things in common with were all older than me by at least 10- 50 yrs. Now, I am 34, divorced with 3 children, and stuck trying to escape a deadend relationship with a 37 yr old man who, aside from finally agreeing to at least pay the rent, doesn’t do anything for me or my kids (youngest is his) but bitch and throw tantrums. Over the past 4yrs, I have affirmed that I definitely do much better with older men. I have dated 68-74 yr olds and they were great. I’m so in love with one of my clients who is 74. We have amazing chemistry, conversation, and he overall shows he cares for me and my children’s well-being. He has helped me financially when my vehicle broke down or was short for bills, he bought baby clothes for me when I had my child 6 months after we met, and even calls or texts me when he is traveling out of state. He even had jewelry handmade for me for my birthday while in Morrocco, and we also have amazing sex when we get together. My other half (better felt as just my roommate) doesn’t even try to help me, show concern with my business ideas, and doesn’t help financially with his own child’s daycare or needs (hell I paid for hospital delivery and went to all dr visits alone or with my mom). We don’t even have a normal decent conversation or physical relationship. He has serious lack of emotions, and is afraid too be alone. To me, it’s more like living with an old man with him than actually with an older man. I love my older men and when I drop this dead weight codependent, I plan on sticking with my rule of only dating a man who is 10+ yrs older. I want love, true companionship, great conversation, and a sense of stability for me and my kids.

  • well i am 16 years old dating this guy & he is 25 i told him that i was 19 thinking we were never gona talk again & not knowing i would acually fall in love with him i know im going to have to tell him sometime soon but i dont know how, i really love him like i dont know what i would do without him &we’ve been talking for almost 3s months &i am in love with him please i need some help on his stituati on i was going to tell him whent i turne 19 but i cant wait that long & i am really depressed and feel really guilty about it so can someone please help mee :\d
    1

  • I am 57. I’m 35 years older than the woman I love. I have been married twice and have three children, one from the first marriage, two from the second. The difficulties have only arisen because I discounted my young love. I pretended that her fascination with me was just that, a fascination. I treated her poorly because i was convinced she would find an appropriate lover. I was unaware of the feelings I developed for her over the years. They are profound. Needless to say this woman is not your average 22 year old. I really don’t care about the age difference anymore. It’s inconsequential. If I can’t be with her I’ll be devastated. 35 years may seem like a long time. When I’m with her, time seems immaterial. Don’t ever make the mistake I made which is to assume that true love has some kind of age/time constraint.

  • I’m a 44 year old woman experimenting with the 8 year older man whom just came into my life recently, not that attractive on the outside but WOW I love what I see on the inside! He makes me feel like a Queen, allows me to me myself! I really enjoy his company, he is courting me as it was back in the day! I have no idea why he makes my heart skip a beat but Really Like how I feel around him. He is always making me laugh! And as well, he tells me straight up how he feels, He is very good snugger! Love to be held and he knows how! I really enjoy how he pays attention! To the finer details! So I will post later when I see where this may be going!

  • I’m 37 years of age, the love of my life will be 63 next month….Thats right 26 years difference in age, but no age gap in our hearts. ….I am financialy independent own my own business…He is retired with great retirment…We dont have to have each other, we want each other…I respect and adore him, he is responsible, understanding, educated in life and balances me…I love him and he loves me…As far as people and their views of our relationship, we are too busy taking care of each other and enjoying each other to waste time worrying what others think….My opinion, age is just a number no matter if they are your age or way older if you love each other thats what really matters…no garentees that you will have tomorrow no matter the age. .. I wonder how many people have past up the love of their life because they are scared of what others think…or because of what is considered “normal “…. I have never been treated as good as he treats me, HE IS thoughtful, carries himself with class, he is secure in his manhood knows what he wants in life, has manners, gives respect and deservers to be respected in return

  • Hi, I’m 18 and I’ve found myself to be in love with a 44 year old man. I’m not sure if it has to do with the father issues or not. (Divorce when I was 15) He does make me feel beautiful and sexy, he tells me he loves being with me every time we are together. As I have seen from the article, you say that a man’s sex drive slows down with age. In my scenario that is false. Very false. He tells me I look beautiful everyday. Even if I look like crap that day. It’s amazing. I still don’t understand why it happened. We worked together for 2 years, then one day he just came up to me and kissed me. Then all this started. I’m horribly confused, but glad.

  • I am 24 yrs.o;d and i am having a boyfriend with the age of 51 , we really love each other but still he always telling that he is a bad guy and idiot i don’t know why he always saying that and making it problems he worried about our age because i am a young women we are both happy when we are together and talking as always! He is not totally mine yet because he just file divorce for his wife last week i didn’t ask about this to do it but he did that thing because he’s not happy with his wife they are always fighting on the phone even in personal , i can feel really bad about his wife but its not my fault that he could fall and i could fall in love too.. it happens …
    As of now i am looking forward to be with him but he always thinking about my situation like i am young women and he was just pushing me to the guys that is in my age which i am not looking for it .. I already told him that i really love him so much and my family wants to meet him too but he was just looking for a problem again he told me that i am going to throw him away because he can’t give me babies which is i accept it already and my family too coz my family said whoever i fall in love or someone i love they love it too so its not a problem right??? what he really want me to do?? can you tell me some suggestion about what am i going to tell him just to understand me and my feelings as well????

  • i m 26 i like old man

    sonia_joh@yahoo.com

  • sonia_joh(at)yahoo.com

    26 years old i like old man

  • I’m 25 and dating an older men who is 46 and he is divorced and has 3 kids his wife left him and he is taking care of the kids himself. How crazy is that?

  • I just recently turned 32 and I’m dating a man who is 51. I’m completely in love with him for many reasons. He’s handsome, active and is stable–has a job, owns his own home, and has hobbies he enjoys. He’s very well-rounded and has an adult dependent daughter, whom I have also grown to love. I am in the same position with my home and two children who are ages 10 and 11.

    Last night he told me that he’s having second thoughts about me. Here the reason why: I get baby fever on and off. Its hormonal and it somes and goes just like my period. That’s just part of being a healthy woman, right? Needless to say, I’m devastated, especially when I’ve put in so much effort without a second thought about our age difference. Early in our relationship we already made it clear that there will be no more children born out of our relationship.

    If he ends up dumping me, this experience isn’t going to stop me from dating older men. I would like to think age is a good indicator of maturity, but sometimes its not.

  • Hi , I’m a 36 yr old woman and I’m in a bit of a tricky situation. I was with an older man who died four years ago( he would be 62 now if he was alive) we have a daughter together who is now 10. I recently met a man who is 62 and we immediately hit it off. We have the same sense of humour, he makes me laugh so much. I really enjoy his company. He has never been in a relationship with a younger woman and he can’t seem to cope with the idea. He keeps on saying to me that I really should meet someone my own age but I cam see it in his eyes that he doesn’t really mean that . We haven’t had an sexual contact, it’s only been a kiss and a cuddle . I love when he holds me close to him and I want to get more physical but he seems shy and embarrassed with the whole age thing . None of my family know , neither does my daughter . I did introduce him to my parents , just as a friend but there were not happy. However my daughter gets on great with him and he makes her laugh too. I’m not sure what I should tell her or do I just keep saying that he is just a friend?? It’s an awful situation to be in it feels almost like I’m having an affair or something.

  • I am 41 years old and am seeing a man of 63. We have the most intense loving relationship that I have ever had in my life. We have both had serious health issues and have been friends for more than ten years. Our relationship developed when my marriage broke down earlier this year. I then realised how I felt about this man. We have now been together about ten months.

    Its not been easy and we both worry about how our relationship would be seen by others, therefore only my children know the truth. My sisters and Mother don’t know how our relationship has developed. We both feel we don’t need other peoples judgement so we keep our relationship private. His children also know the truth.

    I worry about the future, which one of us might go first and leave the other alone. I am not stupid and know I could be alone for a long time. But having looked Death in the face and told it I am not ready to go yet, I feel this beautiful fulfilling love has been given to me because I have lots of love to give to the right person…

    The intensity of feeling I have for my love is indescribable…I wish we could have met at a different time where we were more the same age but I also don’t feel it would be the same as we have both been through so many life experiences that have made us who we are.

    I love this man to pieces and wouldn’t change him for the world and I know he feels the same. I can see his heart through his eye. If he were to die tomorrow I would be thankful for the time we have had together. If I were to die tomorrow the only place I would want to die would be in his arms…

  • I am currently into a dilemma this past few days, because I think I am feeling something special for my doctor in our clinic. Most of the times we were alone, we talk about more of the things that interest me a lot that I have not had with any other men my age. He’s just so amazing and brilliant which made me admire him. His generosity and genuine concern really pampers me that makes me want to stay in the clinic for the longest possible time. I know psychiatrists are very good with dealing with people, but i just feel so special when I am with him. And he is 56 years old while I am 25… i really don’t know what to do. can’t even tell my friends about this, I am afraid they might not understand.

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  • I recently met a woman who is 18 years old, and I’m 41. She is beautiful, tender, loving, and very mature for her age. Our relationship started about 4 weeks ago, and I’ve been having second thoughts about her being too young for me. I must admit she makes me feel alive and special when we’re together. This is the first time I’ve been involved with a woman 10+ years older than me. I feel there is a greater sense of commitment from both sides.

  • I’m 58 years old, i keep fairly fit and maybe i don’t look my age? i am divorced for 23 years now, brought up 2 kids from a very young on my own, my ex has not seen them since. But my 2 kids are now in touch; albeit by text or email. That’s my past – but as i said i am fit and workout because it’s healthy to do so, but as an individual i am broke, not a rich sugar daddy(?). But i find i am hit on; if that is the word, by women much younger than me; from 18 to middle thirties. I’m a well travelled man too, my past would be concided controversial; from my young age when doing national service; in Africa. I remember when i was 21 i dated a girl age 16, doing her GCSE’s after the initial getting to each other i found it difficult to communicate with her, we never had sex – she very was vey beautiful. Army call ups entervened and after some correspondence we lost touch. I am a polictical/spiritual animal, i’ve never voted nor do i follow any major christian religion(they are all man made and lost; my opinion) Anyway i am at present between a rock and a hard place – with an 18 year old girl giving me more than customer focused attention; last time i saw her she wore thick rimmed glasses to make her look older! she is pretty; another girl a bit older in her twenties gives me such wonderful smiles that a man knoews this her way of saying ‘i like’ – what ever you know what i mean. Thing is, i ams saying the age gap is such, that conversation would be almost impossible after a while, one or the other will get bored. What gets me is that a girl of this age with me would need to carry me up to bed in 12 years times and give me coco in bed along with supplying me with a hot water bottle. Hah! but i do enjoy the the attention!!! i am honoured when i think; young women(some) still beat a path to my door. It feels good. But i am weary of relationships because of what happaned with my ex. What i could finish off with though; is that if at any age you find love with someone of any age – take it! even if it does not last it is the greatest feeling on this earth …

  • OK…….I am an older man (57) and recently a much younger women (25) has been showing interest in me. If we where only talking a ten or twenty year difference, I would not even think twice about going out with her as I have dated several women in that age range. But 32 years seems like a huge difference. That being said, I find her extremely beautiful, articulate, intelligent and interesting. I for the life of me cannot understand how a women this much younger could be interested in a man as old as I am. I live a very simple life. I am born and raised around country living and farming. I am starting a small Aquaponics business and she is extremely interested in what I am doing. Why couldn’t she come along thirty years ago….lol. I think about her when she is not around. I am starting to want to hold her. I know from experience that I am in trouble because she is starting to take my heart. I feel it would be selfish of me to pursue her. I am concerned how the small community like the one I live in would take it. Her parent will kill me. What will my daughter think? At the same time there is something very right when we share time together. So I ask all of you, Why do younger women date older men..especially when there is no huge amounts of money involved?

  • I need some advice, not condemnation for the situation I’m in. I’ve just found out in the last few weeks that a Younger girl I know (17) Has told me she has loved me for some time and she has allways wanted to marry me an start a family with me. Problem, I’m (48) and not been with any women for 10 yrs. This girl is beauitful and I can’t even understand why she would want to be with me little own have kids with me? I do love her but have never loved her in a sexual way or even thought about having kids with her. I’m not rich only live on SSDI so that can’t be the reason she wants me. She wants to come move in with me whe she turns 18 in 10 more months. Yes, I’m flatter she feels that way about me but the age difference just seems way to much to do what she wants me to do. She wants me to make a firm commitment to her and Ive just not been able to do that. I really don’t care about what other people would think, but what about our kids, wouldn’t that age difference effect them in some way. Wouldn’t I’d be messing her chances of doing something with her life. I’m conflicted, at first I said NO WAY. But in time I’ve been thinking if she really wants this kind of life is it wrong for me to not give that to her? I’ve never had kids and have been on a dateing site trying to find a women youger that could give me a familly but not 17 I was thinking 35 to 40 when their still able to have kids. I believe this all came out when she found out I was on that dating site and she wants me to get off it and wait for her. I’m very confussed and need some sound logical advice of what I should do?

  • i am 23 years old and i have been seeing an older man (age 36) for a few weeks now. hes never been with a significantly younger woman before. we do most everything any two people do when they like each other. and i will admit its incredibly refreshing to be with someone that isnt a complete jackass like most of the men ive encountered that are closer to my own age. before anything began between the two of us we decided not to get any feelings involved. of course, as it usually goes i have started to like him very much. i havnt told him and really dont plan on saying anything until it feels right, but im pretty sure that he has started to warm up to the idea of actually being together. everytime we make plans to hang out i get nervous as all hell before he comes over or i go over to his place. but nervous in the good way. hes met my friends and ive met his, he gets along with mine very well and hes become increasingly more comfortable in a room of younger people which makes me hopeful. hes also become a lot more comfortable with me in the bedroom and it shows a little more every time (its fantastic). spending time with him is wonderful and pretty much the highlight of my week. every time we part ways i cant wait to see him again. i constantly catch him staring at me when i am distracted and he always just smiles if i do catch him. his smile is magnifiicant. it makes me happy. i suppose all i can do is hope that he feels the same way and that being 13 years his junior wont deter him from giving something a little more serious a shot.

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