Jun 12, 2011

Why Do Young Women Fall In Love With Older Men?

Women and men contribute love in different ways. Women are more emotional so touching, saying I Love You, and doing things for us are acts of love. For example, cleaning up the dishes or cooking dinner is acts of love. For men they contribute love with respect and sex.

A good example is that women want men to say “I Love You”, however, if they do not tell us they love us then we fall apart. If we do not respect them, and love them then they start to become defensive. That is when the fighting will probably start.

An age difference of 7 – 15 years can lead to a really great relationship if both partners are willing to. That’s because we don’t choose who we fall in love with, it simply happens.

Most women over 25 and single are already disappointed by men of their age, they are looking to find a mature man that can satisfy their needs. In most cases men reach their maturity level after the age of 30; therefore, most women are just wasting time with men under 30. Most women over 25 believe that older men won’t break their hearts the way younger men have done; they believe that an older man will have the commitment and the willingness required for a long-term relationship.

Age indicates maturity, and decision making ability, so older men are a better choice for a mate. Many young women say young men their same age don’t respect them, but older men do. Younger women enjoy having someone take care of them and are attracted to an older man’s accomplishments, economic stability and emotional maturity.

Younger women and older men are capable of sharing similar life views and goals, despite their age differences. Younger women and older men have no problem accepting each other’s friends. Younger men and older women share the same principles when it comes to family.

Age difference makes no difference, and can lead to a really great relationship if both partners are willing to work at it. Younger women and older men don’t choose to fall in love with each other; it simply happens. Younger women who fall in love with older men have father issues that can sometimes border on the psychotic. Younger women say that older men make them feel special, give them everything they need, give them so much attention, make them feel wanted and needed, and make them feel like a queen.

Younger women usually prefer men who are financially stable, and in most cases the most financially secure men are older men who are established, and in a much better position to take care of a wife than young men. Older men are often more patient, and actually listen to what younger women have to say and respect her opinions–qualities younger women appreciate in older men.

Older men–unlike young men–know what they want in a relationship; they can entertain, wine and dine a young woman–court her the old-fashioned way. Older men know what they want out of life; they are not uncertain about themselves, as younger men sometimes can be and can help bolster a woman financially as well as bolster her self-esteem.

Older men are more experienced sexually and tend to have less of a sex drive, but many women find that the lovemaking with an older man is completely fulfilling to them, as older men are better at listening to the needs of a younger woman than a man their own age tends to be.

Your turn to talk, what do you have to say, lets talk……


  • coz they love Chini kam!

  • In a word . . . money.

  • I’m looking for a little interpretation and advice. I am in my early 50’s. The young lady in question is 36. Her father was absent her entire life. When I say absent, I mean gone, not emotionally unavailable. She lost her mother in a tragic automobile accident when she was a little girl. The father and I were friends. We grew up together. Several years ago I began gifting her on holiday occasions with a sweet card, a little spending money and a small collector type gift. When I see her she is very affectionate towards me which I have always taken in stride and with a suitably appropriate response. She hugs me, kisses me on the cheek, puts her arm around me etc… I always compliment her appearance but have always maintained the pseudo father – daughter relationship that we have. I have nurtured that relationship. I adore this girl, woman, due to who she is, her inner strength and compassion.

    She has serial boyfriends, none lasting longer than a year, never married and has no children.

    Things went sideways when she kissed me on the lips twice, on two separate occasions and the last one has me a little confused. These are chaste kisses, touching lips only, no tongue, but I can’t help but wonder if she is interested in something more from our relationship. I cannot and will not betray the trust she has in me by making a pass at her. So the ball is in her court. But the question is, Is there a ball game or not?

    Any advice or observations would be greatly appreciated



  • I have dated nothing but older guys. I am 23 and have met the man of my dreams. He is 49. I love him and he is my everything. He is understanding, caring, supportive. He knows what he wants and I know what I want. Our job schedules are not good, but we talk, email and text everyday. I may get to see him once a week if I am lucky. We talk on the phone for an hour or two everyday. Sometimes two times a day. We have more in common then the guys my age. The guys my age dont know what they want or anything. I am all for being with older guys. He makes me happy and I make him happy. That’s all that counts.

  • im 20 and i fell in love wuth a 53 year old man and i would pretty much say ive never been happier i could never understand why i did it just happen i became so attracted to him he has so many qualities and hes so mature he knows what he wants and hes always there for me he listens and everything i thought being with an older man was kind of wrong because of the age diffrence but ive learned not to care because i love him and older are ALOT better

  • This is all rubbish. Young women fall for older men because that’s what all mammalian females do, period. Mating with a more powerful male, who had demonstrated the ability to survive for quite some time, is in women’s procreative interests. And, that–and that alone–is what’s it’s all about, irrespective of the rationalizations and fairytales that we concoct.

  • Im 13, and i fall in love with 30-40 year olds. I know it may sound strange, but really? you cant HELP who you fall in love with! It just HAPPENS! and people get mad at me, well i fall in love with them because they are gorgeous, more mature, nicer, and act maturely. I can’t help who i fall in love with, and all the time, i fall in love with older men. its a great feeling, i just love them! but sometimes i fall in love with people around my age such as 18-20 years. but mostly, they are 30-40 years.

  • Hi im 22 and my boyfriend is 40 i love him alot and i think he loves me to.

  • Hi
    I am a therapist, I am 45 year old woman and fell in love with a man with parkinson’s, he is 69 years old..I would go to his home 5 days a week. He is widowed and I am separated. Well, one of the aides in the house stole something and his children, hired all new people..I cannot see him anymore..we did spend alot of time together and we were intimate and made love. His children have complete control over him, and power of attorney. They know he has been depressed, cried and been angry although they do not know about us. His children, his son has disconnected the phone, he cannot go out alone and cannot call me either. The son has also with held getting his presciptions filled. I am so sick over this and I am so heart broken. I think about him constantly and feel that he is for me..isn’t this nuts or what? I asked the heavens “why did this happen to me and when will I get over him..I feel like a fool even telling someone all this

  • I’m 24 years and I’ve started to realise that I’m deeply interested with a man aged 41 years. He’s in fact my lecturer. He has supported me through lots of odds occurring in my life for the past 4 years. Unfortunately, he’s married with a wedding ring. The more I am drawn to him, the more I fear ending up alone throughout my life because I know he won’t ever leave his family. I am pretty sure that he’ll never know my feelings for him either as knowing how I am, I would never confess such sinful feelings. I’m quite confused with my own feelings. Any help?

  • i was never agreed with a young woman falling in love with older man however, now its happen to me. i am agree with all the opinions said above.
    i am 31 and he is 46. he is really patient with my attitude which i can get irritating easily. i shouted on him when things happen not the way i want it but eventually, he just an old man. maybe he just a bit conservative or maybe i am too demanding. but in the end of the day, he will forgive me and tell me that he understand me better. rationally, i fall in love with him because of his patience and supportive to me with his life’s experiences. indeed, i love him!

  • I was eating at a restraunt, and looked up and saw a young woman, and I was enchanted. not by her youth. In spite of that really. By her gace, her demeaner. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. I have known many beautiful women in my lifetime, none has ever had such an effect on me.

    I would never act on such an impulse. One day she approached me to ask for my telephone number, while she slide a note onto my hand, with hers, and a few carefully chosen words. To be frank, I was shocked. I am 55, and she is only 25. And she has an uncommon beauty. She deosn’t even wear makeup, and she doesn’t need to. Why in the world was she not married? Even the slope of her shoulders is sensuous. Her grace is captivating. Simply an amazing woman. In an age were femininity is dying, she embodies it. Why me of all people?

    As I was enchanted the very first instant I saw her, I find she was as well. And if not for her bravery to appraoch me (at a table with 6 other men attending) our love would never have had a chance, for I never even considered approaching her.

    What I find stange is that, she desired me and acted. And of course, I was more than willing to go along with it. Even her mother was for it right away. He father took a couple days to come along, but we hit it off quickly. Everyone in my family see what it has done to me, and they all are more than happy with it. But the strange part is the older women, with nothing invested, who choose to walk up to mutter rude comments to us both. Well Ling Ling is from China, and doesn’t speak English very well. And when people talk too fast, she can not keep up. And thankfully, these older (and rude) women speak too fast for her to understand. I just laugh at them, myself. What business is it of theirs anyway? And not being a young person, I understand now, that you can only be insulted if you actually respect the person. And I do not respect anyone that believes they have the right to intrude, and interject un-warranted comments. In fact, Thier opinions are the last I would ever respect. Sure, at times I want to reply, and insult them back, but why stoop to their level?

    Anyway, I am now 57, she is 26, we are very very happy married, I wouldn’t trade my life with anyone’s. Why did she marry me? For the same reason I married her. We fell in love. It wasn’t planned. It just happened. She has confided to me, that she never dreamed of marrying a man my age. It just happened. And I would never had been so bold to have approached her. Never! So if not for her bravery to seek out what she desired, it never would have happened in the first place. But thank goodness she did. Left to me, we would have gone our seperate ways. That alone shows how razor sharpw the choices we make in life, has astonding effects on our future. Simply put, this has all been amazing. I will love her forever. It was truely love at first sight. My life is so blessed.

  • I love Chinese food. And as I have more than enough money for this lifetime, I frequent one place, quite often. Of course, I am courteous towards everyone I interact with. Why wouldn’t I behave in such a manner? Behaving thus, is simply being gracious to others. I was raised that way. And the U.S.Marines, reaffirmed such behavior in me in my young adulthood. It is just my way of life now.

    As a form of politeness, I usually look at people’s name tags, so I address them properly. This is just me, and I do not do this to try to empress anyone. I just find it more friendly, and personable to do so, and to look them in eyes while I speak to them.

    I enjoy taking friends and family with me to luches and such. I am like most other people, I enjoy their company. and perhaps some light banter while we eat. I love a good laugh, so I take my younger brother frequently, because me makes me laugh all the time.

    One day,(while alone) I looked up to see, a remarkable young and graceful Chinese woman. She looked to be perhaps in her twenties, possibly her thirties, but I couldn’t say, because I find it hard to distinguish women’s ages. To be honest, I was completely captivated by her. Not only because of her uncommon beauty, but really by her unsual grace of movements. Even the way she moved her hands was fasinating to me. Almost like a Geisha girl, using her hands to express herself. Simpy put, I was enchanted by her.

    I am not a very forward person, and truth be told, I certainly didn’t entertain any thoughts of attempting to meet her. I was just enchanted. I left that day feeling rather euphoric. Certainly the first time I ever felt such at simply seeing a woman. I have met and know several beautiful women. None has ever had such an effect on me. I still do not understand what transpired that day.

    A few weeks later, while awaiting seating with my brother, he commented on a girl, who was watching me secretively. Believing him to be playing with me (as he is want to do), I simply let the comment slide, and we had a nice lunch.

    I own a photo-voltaic 9solar-cells as they are commonly refered to) intallation company, and I was moving my company into new corporate offices with a much larger warehousing capacity, for distribution purposes. And to reward some of my staff, I invited 5 of them (and my brother for comic relief) to lunch.

    We had just set down, when this beautiful young creature approached me, to ask for my phone number. I was taken aback. Shocked isn’t a strong enough word really. I can only imagine the bravery needed to do what she did, in front of her co-workers, a full capacity of customers, as well as all the men sitting about me.

    I do not dress like I have money. I do not try to impress anyone, because I feel I am not special in any way. I am a common man, who through hard work (and more than a few sacrifices), has done well. And I treat everyone I meet, with true heart felt respect. But this young woman, I had very little interaction with. A friendly smile, and my normal greeting really. I had no thoughts being entertained, af approaching her in way or fashion. To be very honest, I would have though she would have more than enough suitors in her life. And she has confirmed that many have shown an intense interest in her.

    Anyway, I asked her how old she was. It turns out, she was only 25. I was again speechless. I was 55 years old. I did not chase this young woman. I never even considered doing such a thing. Of course, as a man I enjoy seeing a beautiful woman, that’s only natural. I may be older, but I am certainly not dead yet. I also enjoy seeing great works of art, but have no illusion I will ever own such a piece.

    I am completely in love with Ling Ling now. Not because of her young age. Actually in spite of that. That in itself intimidated me somewhat. It is her mannerisms, her compassion towards all, her gentle smile she willingly shares with everyone. I am not 16, and impulsive. Those days are long behind me. But I am the happiest I have ever been in my entire life. All because a simple young woman had the courage to seek out her own dream, and desire. And if she had never approached me, it surely would have never taken place.

    I have dedicated the remainder of my lifetime, to give Ling Ling, all the happiness I can help her find. And yes, I know that happiness comes from within, and not in the things I give to her. But I will never decline her wishes, if I have it in my power to grant them.

    I did not seek out a younger woman. And Ling Ling has expressed she never considered a man my age ever before. But the day I first saw her, we both felt an intant feeling. Never before in my life did I ever believe in love at first sight. Now I find I was a victim of such. And for that, and for Ling Ling coming into my life, I thank my God. I am truely a belessed man.

    I would happly trade everything I have for Ling Ling’s happiness. And my love for her grows more with each passing day. We are a good match in all aspects too, for those curious. Sexual appitites only wane, if you have lost desire. And Ling Ling gets all the attention she craves. As do I. I don’t even look at woman anymore. And that is saying something. I would never has thought such a day would come. Amazing!

    I have to tell you, she didn’t know I had money. Of course, she was pleased when she found out. Who wouldn’t be? And I am very proud that we have helped her mother and father, who are back in China. She is so happy to be able to help them, and this too gives me joy. I wish I could speak Mandarin so I could talk with them myself. We visited them about 5 months ago, and I think they accepted me. But even if they do not, Ling Ling does, and that’s really all I need.

    Sure people wisper, and stare at times. We are both OK with that. And sometimes, women approach to utter short and rude remarks from time to time. Ususlly Ling Ling can’t understand them because they speak too quickly, and for that I am most greatful. I just smile at them. I really want to be rude in return, but what’s the use? They have no idea of what transpired between us, and what motivated the two of us, or how happy we both are. We found the fairy-tale ending, and I am afraid many never do. But why sink to a lower level to respond? I find it incredible that people think they have such a right as to speak to us in such a way. If that is an indication of American Values on parade, I am eqully amazed Ling Ling had anything to so with me in the first place. Gladly, these people have not offended Ling Ling personnaly. If and when they do, my approach will be much different. I will protect her at all cost, even from the arrogent and ignorant.

  • I am 25 years old, good iq, and still i fall in love with an 54 years old man, i have an limon taste…i thought he is mature, but his argument on every discution is that he is older than me, and only for this he is right, and he won’t permit to a girl to contrar him,he is so possesive, can’t go to work, but he won’t buy an winter blouse untill i cached a cold. I’ve put all my hopes in him, I thoudt at this age are more honest, I only fall in love with a lie and by far he is my gratest desapointment. i will never ever fall in love with an older man, I will never leave my job my city for a man. I think older man are nicer only at the begining, they know to lie better!

  • Attractive for 63 yr 0ld man successful is seeking mate after yrs of divorce and children &

    Please reply

  • i have been with a guy name is dwayne im 33 he is 50 years old. been togther for 2&1/2 years ive had problems with him taking off when i dont know about were he is at and dont know where he been at and not wanting to shower and keep a clean shave with out me telling him he needs to clean up and he picks up cigerit butts off the ground and smokes them what do i do i love him and still have feeling for him i dont know what to do about him he say he loves

  • i fell for a 31 year old when I am 18. it was so tragic but i louved him all the same. we couldnt work out but it wasnt because of his age. I now really desire a wonderful man whom i beleive is in his mid thirties and i am still only 18. why can’t i function?!?!?!?!?!!?

  • here i am… im nice and attractive… need a friend


  • i am 23 and i racently met a girl which i fell in love with so much, she is 27 and 4 yrs older than me. i know her age but she does not know mine, may be for the physical appearance,i look a liitle more mature than my age; i fear telling her my age because i think she will leave me for another person.she is very caring and a woderful person and i dont want to loose her, she does loves me very much.PLS TELL ME WHAT TO DO IN MY SITUATION

  • my marriage of 35 years fell apart a few years after open heart surgry. after the divorce was over i met a 20 year old woman who was deaf and on ssi. she came to visit me in ohio and started up a relationship now lasting close to 9 years as i near 71 the relation ship is falling apart due to constant playing of world of warcraft for up to 16 hours a day with her being almost 29 now with 2 childran i would have thought she would have out grown it but that never happened should i end it now and look for some one my age or another younger woman

  • Hi, I’m 32 and my boyfriend is 50. We both met each other on a online dating site about 3 1/2 mos ago. An older man best qualities is their patience and being a great listener. He is always very respectful and caters to my every need by making me feel like a queen. I never have to wonder what he is thinking about bcuz he loves to look into my eyes and express his sincere feelings and thoughts. Eventho he has been married b4 and have 3 grown sons close to my age, he often tells me he wants to marry again. This sounds perfect 4me bcuz my previous relationship with a guy I was dating off & on for 10yrs never gotten to the point of marriage. I’m falling in love with this man! All I can say is so far so good comparing to men of my same age .

  • Im 18,he’s 28. I wasnt into dating older guys it just happened.We both worked at Gamestop and became very good friends. When he asked me out I was very shocked and so confused. I was very resistant because he was older and my best friend. I was so torn,but I accepted his offer to go out and our relationship grew from there. We have been together for 2 years and plan to get married after I graduate.
    He’s mature but immature at the same time XD Oh how I love him so.

  • im 25 single mother and i fall inlove with a 52 yrs. old man also with a child.i love him. i dnt care about everyone would say i just luv him and i want 2 be with him. luv dnt have a reason you just feel it!

  • My wife also did not date younger guys. At 15 she had her eye on me, a 22 year old single guy she had know her entire life. For a year she did not approach me but knew all about me. At age 16 she came up and introduced herself to me after church service. I was surprised and happy to begin dating her. Unlike all the older women I dated she was not emotionally twisted by many former relationships. In fact my wife was my first and only serious relationship. Her parents knew me well and allowed us to date. Dating her was a joy and our conversations was always nonstop. We saw each other everyday for years prior to marriage. It was a month after we began dating that our relationship became very intimate and romantic. We keep that very quiet from everyone but our lovemaking was magical. On my wife’s 19th birthday and second year in college we became engaged. Truth is we began talking about marriage six months after we began dating. We got married in 1995 when I was 29 and she 22. We have been married for 15 years with four wonderful children. To this day I don’t feel at all guilty about dating her so young. As her dad once said to me, C always knew what she wanted and her parents did not want to interfere.

  • I have a friend older that me, i am 25 and he is 44. We are just friends i am not into older men but unfortunately he has got all the qualities i want in a man. He has never been married and he doesnt have any children. What should i do because he could have been my father.

  • I don’t have daddy issues and my family are completely normal, but I’m secretly seeing a 34 year old and I’m 17. I just think older men are more attractive. He has little money but I think it’s because he knows how to treat me right is why I love him. And he’s experienced, he has kids and isn’t a complete idiot who just wants sex from me, unlike many men my own age I’ve met. I have never been in love till now. Not with anyone. He doesn’t realise how much I care just because I have to keep it private because my mom and dad wouldn’t understand. Even though my dad is 11 years older than my mom.

  • Mike,
    How can you educatedly say that ANY MAN that is in love with a younger woman isn’t actually in love? What about those that lose their spouses in their old age and find someone 15 or 20 years older when they’re in their 50’s or even 60’s? Is that lust to you still? I think not. In fact, what I think is that you’re an ignorant fool and clearly your life is just so unsatisfactory that you feel the need to make others feel as bad as you do.

  • Mike,
    How can you educatedly say that ANY MAN that is in love with a younger woman is actually in love? What about those that lose their spouses in their old age and find someone 15 or 20 years older when they’re in their 50’s or even 60’s? Is that lust to you still? I think not. In fact, what I think is that you’re an ignorant fool and clearly your life is just so unsatisfactory that you feel the need to make others feel as bad as you do.

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  • Love is love, it doesn’t know race or age or gender. It doesn’t know beautiful from ugly and could care less if you are a genius super-model or a mentally handicapped severe burn victim. Sex is sex, too. It doesn’t care either. Only the people involved in a relationship know which is which. Sex doesn’t sustain a relationship, but love can make it last your entire life. They will realize this on their own, as time goes by, if their relationship is based on sex or love. If it is true love, then you can’t condemn it, for if you do then you are just jealous of what they have and your moral compass is screwed up. God made us to love and I refuse to believe that any true love could be immoral. It’s the only reason we exist, and when you die the only thing you can take with you is love and hate. Society is small minded and judgmental, the one constant is willful ignorance. People are all too quick to condemn anything that doesn’t fit into their neat little idea of what life should be…do what you will and harm none, that’s all any of us need to do.

  • Love is love. Nothing can really stop it once you find your true soulmate. If you haven’t found yours yet, keep on looking. I’ve been with my man for four years now, and I know that he’s my soulmate. We met on a chatsite and we just clicked. Everything snapped into place and the world just shifted (Sorry, sounding a little corny here). We’ve had our ups and downs, but hey, I only have three more years to wait and see him, and I can’t wait to see him with my own eyes instead looking at pictures and web-camming with him. 🙂

  • It’s true that younger women fall in love with older men, because of maturity. For some reason we just like that. For example (Not saying any names here) I’m in a relationship with an older man and he’s 19, and I’m 16. We share the same veiws on things and we both voice our opinions. I believe that some men that are close to the range of their 20’s can be mature as well, just depends on the guy. The guy I’m with right now listens to me and thinks that everything I say is extreamly important. I appreciate that in a man.

  • Im 35 and my husband is 56 and we get along wonderfully…WE both have children from previous marriages and everyone gets along because we choose too…He has adult girls and my boys are school age, but my ex and are good and I good with his new wife..I won’t bash or speak on dating men my own age, because I don’t have a reference….Ive always dated older men….At least 10yrs. older, and it’s just my preference…
    We have a great connection and vibe, we can sit and talk for hrs. about nothing and everything…If your both…The only hinderence I see in “may-december” romance, is if one party has ZERO life expereince…You can’t be 40 and expect a 20 yr. old to understand “life”….That’s my opinon only…But to each his/her own….

  • WiseFemale, It seems to me that you are a gossip. These unrelated examples you give, combined with your few related examples, seem to show that your ‘wisdom’ only applies to trying to tell people that they are wrong, or making a mistake, etc. By chance are you Catholic? Regardless, I happen to be in a position to cite many examples of older men marrying younger women and being quite happy into their ‘golden’ years. My own parents for instance. While we’re at it, two of my aunts happily married older men. My mother’s best friend is quite happily married to an older man for that matter! Now, please, let us discuss this “American women can spot…” streak you have going: American women tend to be blind. So do American men for that matter, and men and women all over the world! Though I wish to pick on a specific example here: No socially adept male that you know married a foreign female. This is interesting to me, largely because we as a country are not socially adept. Quite the opposite, we are seen as brusque, unintelligent fools who will start a fight at the slightest provocation. I would have to say that the guys you cite who looked for women elsewhere were probably on the right track. Either way, I hope you find what you are looking for and that it makes you less bitter. Have a wonderful time with life.

  • I am a 42 year old female. I have found myself to be very attracted to a gentleman 26 years older. I have been legally separtated from my husband for 6 months, I know it’s too soon to get involved with anyone. But the older gentleman has been there to listen to my problems for the last 5 years. He has always been encouraging and supportive of me. I can call him anytime and he takes the time to listen, he’s so easy to talk to and a makes laugh, I am crazy about him. I’m affraid that becoming intimate will ruin things. I need feedback!

  • I wonder if I am crazy sometimes! I met a wonderful, incredible man who is exactly 30 years my senior! We were drawn to each other instantly because our personalities just meshed. I found myself becoming closer and closer to this man in a friendship sense, but as time went by, I could not hold back very strong feelings of love I have for him. He is in his fifties and I am in my twenties. When I look at the situation objectively, it would appear that we are not a good pair because of the age difference. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this man loves me with all of his heart and I love him too! I do not think that my family would approve of our age difference, but I don’t think I can live without him. We are compatible in so many ways and the first time we made love it was the most amazing experience I have ever had. I had never even climaxed during sex before that day, inspite of the fact that he was not the first sexual partner I ever had. Words can not describe how I feel and he is the same way. I do not know how to present our relationship to others because of our age difference. I am afraid of how others might treat him (as if he were a pervert) but I know that he loves me for me and would love me even if I was not in this 24 year old body. Does anyone have any advice for our situation because I have never experienced anything like this before.

  • ..and the reason for my falling in love is. I adore his peronality. What a fantastic man.

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