Aug 31, 2011

Why Do Men Cheat On Their Women?

“When men cheat, it basically means that they are looking for something their girlfriend or wife is not providing. Often times, it comes down to sex.” Well, partially true but there must be more to it than that. “….cheating is disrespectful towards the person you’ve cheated on, but at the very least, it has two beneficial aspects to it.

First, that you’ll realize your mistake and appreciate your lover a lot more after the horrible deed. The second is that cheating can help you realize your misery within your current relationship, and will likely give you that necessary shove to move on and stop wasting both your lover’s and your own time.”

So why do some men cheat in relationships? Almost all men know that cheating is wrong, yet many they still do it. Men will blame their reasons for cheating on their genes and their necessity to reproduce. However, aren’t we suppose to be further evolved than a chimp? Shouldn’t we be able to control our bodies through our minds and conscious decisions? Apparently not always.

Women do have great understanding about men. But there is a part of men that they do not completely understand. Why in the world would he cheat on me, this seems to be a question that crosses the minds of women who are cheated on.

Possibly the area of the problem could be commitment. Even being married, some men will not fully commit themselves to the spouse. Not only in outward areas of his life but mostly inside. So not being truthful in a sense it will cause men to stray to look for a more comfortable relationship.

Being unsatisfied and feeling less stimulated by the current relationship is sometimes a problem. A crisis of bringing back the old days could pin point this problem. Wanting to feel younger and forget the daily grind brings upon him pressure and causes men to cheat.

Some men cheat because they are too afraid to give up their current relationship because of financial reasons. They would rather cheat and have the new relationship also, rather than loose out on their financial status in life. Knowing that divorce could lead to dividing everything and stripping the budget, they would rather take the chance cheating.

Some also like the excitement of having a secret affair, which is way out of line. These kind of games can be costly to the cheating spouse,but the rush that they get from this is worth the risk for some. They continue to cheat on their wife or girlfriend, because they are sure they can get away with it.

There are other reasons why men cheat is because they do not take their marriage or relationship serious. This could be that they feel like their spouse or girlfriend, is not smart enough to figure them out.

Most men cheat because of a bored relationship,and most men are single minded and do not realize the consequences of their actions.

21 Comments

  • Pleasure is a hard thing to find. In a marriage it seems difficult to maintain. The only way a man and woman will not cheat on each other (because not only men cheat) is to maintain good communication.

  • This is so pathetic! Men do not cheat for any other reason than that God made them this way. We do not cheat because we don’t have a perfect woman we desire other woman because this is how it was meant to be. God made men to desire women and this is how procreation works. Women can not do anything but become impregnated and men can do nothing but impregnate when it come to reprodution. Look at the Men in the Bible who were polygamists… David, a “Man after God’s own heart, Abraham, Issac, Jacob and even Moses and many more. Look in 1 Kings 1 and see what the people did for an old man king who could not become warm.
    Of course we live in a world of, ‘overpopulation’, gays…who can not reproduce at all and one woman marriages. The most anyone can reproduce in this kind of situation is 4-5 children. Pathetic! There are 2.5 women in the world for every one man so if the “Christian” belief of one man, one woman is right then 1.5 woman for every one man is supposed to be celibate for life. Just think how stupid this is. Read your Bible and understand God made men to desire women for a reason, REPRODUCTION!

  • Having spoken to many married men who are seeking an affair elsewhere, its the same thing again and again – he wants sex or sometimes intimacy and shes too tired, got a headache, etc etc sometimes its not about the man wanting sex, sometimes a cuddle, chat about work, watching tv together, falling asleep in each others arms, or sharing a bath, but she mistakes these things as a prelude for sex, but shes got to say what she wants instead of pushing him away, something like ” a cuddle would be nice but nothing more right now”
    Another thing is boredom,he wants to try new things but shes stuck in a rut and will only have sex in one position, in one location,yet when they first met they couldnt keep their hands off each other, so women,take heed before you blame the men 100%, take some responsibility for your own actions!

  • I believe that both women and men cheat on the same level. No sex is different theyre just opposistes. However, in a marriage couples can grow apart and grow bored of each other. This is quite normal and it draws their attention to other people and also the need for excitement which sometimes ends up as an affair.

  • As a woman I have been cheated on while engaged to be married, while dating, and while in a long term relationship. I have also cheated. Recently even. The times I cheated were because I was unhappy in my long term relationship. After cheating I broke up with my partner. Once I cheated because I felt sufficated by my partner and I wasn’t ready for the full commitment. I also ended that relationship.

    I am currently cheating on my boyfriend with a fairly new friend. My new friend and I are both in long-standing relationships. I am even friendly with his girlfriend. I felt a connection with him instantly. We decided to talk about our attraction and that lead to intimacy. Now, I feel guilty, and I want out of my relationship.

    The history with me is that the person I have been with for the last several years is self centered and very into himself. We have very little communication and I feel as I do everything. Even pay 80% of the bills because he can’t afford it. I feel like he’s taking me for granted. I cook, clean, work and help him with his son and he is not concerned about my whereabouts most of the time. He gets very depressed and is always in his head. It’s almost impossible at times to get him to have a conversation with me. Now he doesn’t even sleep in bed with me. The couch is more comfy. I want to leave him but I can’t. I feel trapped.

    My new friend… Well, he’s in a long term relationship. Not married. No children. I can see he loves/cares for her, but must not respect her. I don’t understand. I watch him be affectionate to her, and he says he gave up on arguing with her to just have peace. When he and I have been together (twice) it’s been fun and we talk about everything very openly. We talk about my boyfriend and his girlfriend. I am 13 years older than him and he doesn’t mind, but he thinks his family would. So, from the beginning we both knew this would not become a relationship. But, here’s the thing. I have feeling for him. It’s not just sex for me. He makes me feel good because we communicate and there’s this underlying understanding and trust between us that makes me wonder what the heck we are doing?????

    Here’s what I have noticed… All the “great” sex and pleasing, and cuddling in the beginning of a relationship disappears. It’s not just the women that aren’t in the mood. The men become lazy lovers and stop doing all that they used to do to please their lover. In my experience, when this happens I get the same way back. Why should I continue to pleasure him when all he wants are quickies and forgets that as a woman I want to be romanced. Kissed, and pleased as much as he does.

    Here’s how I sum it up:
    1. What eventually tears two people apart is when one of the two stops trying and gets comfy. This creates the other to do the same.

    2. We cheat because we are feeling deprived of whatever is missing: sex, communication, compassion, affection, excitement.

    3. Some men are never satisfied. They want to experience as many women as they can. Like my new friend told me; “if I’m attracted to other women I can’t help it. I’m going to go for it if it happens.”

    4. Women are harder on themselves for cheating and are less forgiving to the men that cheat on them.

    5. Some women will ignore that their men are cheaters just so they can hang on to him, marry him and have their babies.

    6. I’ll never understand the men that cheat, and then marry the one they cheated on so many times.

    7. I think most men are not as connected to women because of love making. They connect to women to settle down in a home of their own. But will always want to be sexually connected with other women if they can get it.

    8. Why do men cheat on their women to have experimental sex with other women? Their own girlfriends/spouses want to do all those crazy things too, but the men wont do it with them?

    Why do we stay in relationships that make us cheat?

  • I am currentytly in a serious relationship. My man recently impregnated another lady that i do not know, but now he is telling me that he stil loves me and he is regreting that he did a mistake.I would like to know if this is true?must i still continue with this relationship?

  • Please get it into your head that this man does not love you, if he truly loves you, he would not even dream of hurting your feelingd. How did you feel after you found out he’s cheated? was that a pleasant feeling? Someone who truly loves you should never think of harming you or your feelings in any way. Please move on with your live because you are better off without any unfaithful man. all the best

  • I don’t have much respect for the other women who help these men cheat. It is one thing if they are lied to and deceived into thinking he is available. But if they know the men are taken and they chose to be in an affair, I think that is just plain rude and selfish and even lacking in a bit of self esteem. Two people who cannot commit or don’t want to and don’t respect their partners enough to talk it out or break up belong together. Those “exciting” times are really negative and cruel. Sure, some people deserve to be cheated on as much as they really deserve to just be dumped. I think you hurt yourself, too, by cheating.

  • its degrading

  • hey everyone, im a guy at age ~20 and i have a problem

    i get really aroused, really fast and start thinking sexually and begin to fantasize about the attractive women i see. i feel pain throughout my chest all the way down to my genitals while i feel nausea unless i do something about it and pursue her.

    i feel the need to SCREAM out loud everytime i see sexy giant breasts, firm fatty booty, and a “to-die-for” set of pedicured feet.

    i am so horny that it hurts and my sexually appetite is enormous.

    i have always been a horny guy but recently its been getting out of my control and i dont know what to do. i have been taking painkillers to calm myself down.

    i need help please!

  • Troubled one, I think that you are an appreciative man of the female species. You just need to learn to control your feelings and seek out some kind of activities that can utilize this powerful energy you have. You are excitable! You have a strong desire to please a woman and when you start to substitute this energy in a productive manner you will have the opportunity to meet someone who is on your level. Someone who shares a common interest. Yeah? Until you can stop the fantasical thinking you will be subjected to pain. Turn it around and make this passion a part of you… It is who you are, and can be a gift. You need to find an outlet for your desire by focusing on an obtainable. Ever played pool or golf, any sport??? Night clubbing? I can guarantee you two things. If you tap into all thos girls that are makin you nuts you will end up on the high list of aids sufferers, or never able to obtain a satisfying relationship due to a lack of control. It is your call. My words speak out to you alone because I have felt that way at times. It is normal. You are a man…so that makes us a bit different. But maybe you will see what I am saying as a valid remark. Best wishes to you and never stop loving that which is beautiful!

  • I also have this problem. I have had a few affairs and don’t want to marry my fiance. I want to have sex with any female who gives me a second look. I had an affair with my neighbor for 2 yrs. She was a friend of my fiance. She told my fiance and my fiance just stopped talking to her and we are still together as if nothing ever happened. I’m sure she doesn’t even care. I got my lover pregnant, but she had a miscarriage. I didn’t even care. I told her it wasn’t mine that i was “fixed”, but i’m not. Now…i’m back to having sex with my ex-wife. Guess i don’t really know who or what i want!

  • My husband has had several affairs the last one in 2006- 2007, i wrote him a letter in April 2007 and told him it was over beause of the affair. he said he wants the marriage to work. but this last one haunts me everyday, i can forgive him but can’t forget it. well one night several months ago he mad i had a few bottles of wine and type my feelings on my private documents on the computer. well he found it by accident on saturday night. now he want talk to me won’t accecpt my calls or text. in the document i wrote how i wonder if he thinks of her when we make love, wonder how often he still talks to her, if they still have their private email address, plus some other stuff.I did nothing wrong his affair has torn our family apart, because he spent so much time on the computer with her he ignore me and our children. i put a bug on the computer so i know more details than i need to know, maybe that is why it hurts me so much. oh i forgot to say she lives in Ohio and he paid for her to fly here several times plus he got a cell number added to his plan and sent her the phone so they could talk when they wanted to. Why do i feel bad i was not the one that had the affair.

  • I just don’t undestamd why men cheat. if he loves you he’s suppose to be your only one………………….

  • my boyfriend cheated on me and got the other woman pregnant,she had a miscarriage,we are still together,i know his first marriage broke up because he cheated on his wife.he finally moved in with me after 4 years of dating,and i suspect he is still seeing his lover,and i have been told they stil keep in touch,he keeps his phone on him all the time and i am not allowed to touch it,although he can go thru mine.should i trust him,will he cheat again?

  • Wow, Let me first start out by saying that I have been cheated on numerous times by women. Yes, oh yes it has happened and I tell you, I find it amazing how a person, be it male or female can come to terms with themselves and not think for one moment that their is something wrong between their ears, but it must start with the building of how the relationship began.

    Either gender, must get laid, relationship, laid, kids, laid, life, no so happy laid and then divorce or what started out as something amazing for both moved with a focus of sex and being instant happiness.

    There is no foundation of friendship, real honest open and caring communication. There is no teamwork between the two that is based on a basic caring of each other, the person. Gee, why then does the relationship you ask. Can you build a house on a little bitty foundation and expect it to last.

    To many people today on both sides of the gender table continue to remind us that love is blind and it makes you crazy. Well, think of people you know and how they repeat love with the same methods of sex and expect some type of different results. Humm, if I recall right, the defination of insanity is to do something over and over again and expect different results. Yes, they have to be blind and with a no hearing since they have seen the same ending over and over again.

    Remember, I started out these comments to provide you knowledge that I have felt the pain that only lost love due to cheating can bring, but let me add just abit more pain as the knife enters your heart, I even have lost my children in the process, because this cycle has been affecting the next generation since the 60’s man, Yea, Man 69, upstate New York, Woodstock, Hendrix closed on Monday. Because we have stopped talking Man, Shit man, no one is real anymore. So WoodStock was the real happening of all the concerts that followed. But what really happened when we took free love, remember it was beautiful?

    The genders lost each other and it seems, have not been able to find its way back to the work required of something real, anything with while, takes work and we have to start back from the past talking, developing friendships and having real talk that allows love to grow with time. The genders need to see man needs women and women needs man. Or do we continue to look at each other as the enemy and remain insane.

    Now come on, sit down by the fire, I’ll grab my guitar, grab a beer for me and let me enjoy you for sitting down and just sharing, Ok Juliet, Hey cool name.

  • I am talking to this boy and he got a girlfriend,but we have been friends for yr’s that come.We have had sexual affairs, and he is dating this girl that he always say he loves.But he always be with me and I am deeply in love with him,he calls me late at night comes over my house we watch moves together and have lots of fun.And he never be with her,I was just woundering do he love me instead of her.But he never brings her name up around me and the only thing im trying 2 figure out is do he love me.

    I need help!

  • Hi, i just thought i’d post and let you know your blogs layout is really messed up on the K-Melon browser. Anyhow keep up the good work.

  • Cheating can hurt a lot of people. This guy actually cheated on his girlfriend with me. He told me he wasn’t seeing anyone. Asked me to be in a serious relationship with me. We started having sex and quite naturally I fell in love with him. He then tells me that he is in love with the girlfriend and is going to marry her.(that I didn’t know existed) It seems she went away to school and he was lonely so, he decided to start something with me. Anyway I’m hurt. Having a hard time getting over this.Especially when the louse told me this right after we had sex. I deserve so much better. But, I still have feelings for him.

  • Cheating can hurt a lot of people.
    But most of the women who were unfaithful lover.
    One thing that women do not forgive her lover is lying, dishonest.

  • Men cheat women. Because they are new.
    And tired old woman. Honest not men with women.
    Why not honor women. Because he thought he had love a girl for anyone.

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